I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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