Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
