you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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