Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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