Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
