Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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