yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
