Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
