yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize