How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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