I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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