It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
