her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
