i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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