I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
