Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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