I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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