He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
