soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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