Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
