That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She announced her abortion via fbk
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
