So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
