I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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