We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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