i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
