Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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