Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
