i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
