he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
