dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
