is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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