I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
