Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
