She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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