Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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