We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize