Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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