I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
