he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
