i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
