Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
