Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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