All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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