I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
