whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize