Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
