so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
