Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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