operation harelip BJ is a go
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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