you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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