i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he just fucked me for my cheese.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
