honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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