I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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