The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
