i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
