apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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