It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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