I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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