Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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