It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
